Pity Party
Rudi Whitmore
Issue date: 2/13/07 Section: Entertainment
Instead, people could draw saint's names from an urn, and attempt to emulate that saints virtues for a year. Mmm… makes you wanna bust out your red and lacies, doesn't it?
So how'd we go from goat-hide slapping to chocolate and roses? More importantly, who is this Valentine dude, and how did he begin wrecking your February budget??
Well… they don't really know. The Catholic Church lists 2 (debatably 3) Valentine's, either unfortunately "outed" Christians or priests in a decided pagan Rome. Apparently they both died on February 14th for decidedly martyr-like stuff. One legend has Valentine performing marriages regardless of their ban, while the other features a jailed and romantically wasting Valentine falling in love with his jailer's daughter, and passing her a note before his beheading, closing the missive with a poignant and catchy "From your Valentine". Or he cured her blindness.
There is not a shred of evidence for any of the theories. So what's the deal with the 180 million cards sent (not including the packaged ones, like the Ninja Turtles "Cowabunga! Be my Valentine?" grade school kind) every year with lace and frills?
Chaucer. That bastard. Prior to one of the most famous English authors ever to ruin your high school English classes, there was virtually no connection between romance and St. Valentine. One of his poems came out, basically declaring that birds chose their mates on St. Valentine's Day. The earliest surviving valentine is from the Duke of Orleans to his wife in 1415 while he was being "detained" in the Tower of London.
It came into vogue to exchange gifts and handmade valentines to lovers from then on, and in 1847, Esther Howland started the Hallmark ball rolling with her manufactured valentines for sale.
But it's such a sweet, romantic tradition, right?
Besides, considering the money you shelled out for roses and reservations at the Olive Garden, you've gotta get laid, right?
So how'd we go from goat-hide slapping to chocolate and roses? More importantly, who is this Valentine dude, and how did he begin wrecking your February budget??
Well… they don't really know. The Catholic Church lists 2 (debatably 3) Valentine's, either unfortunately "outed" Christians or priests in a decided pagan Rome. Apparently they both died on February 14th for decidedly martyr-like stuff. One legend has Valentine performing marriages regardless of their ban, while the other features a jailed and romantically wasting Valentine falling in love with his jailer's daughter, and passing her a note before his beheading, closing the missive with a poignant and catchy "From your Valentine". Or he cured her blindness.
There is not a shred of evidence for any of the theories. So what's the deal with the 180 million cards sent (not including the packaged ones, like the Ninja Turtles "Cowabunga! Be my Valentine?" grade school kind) every year with lace and frills?
Chaucer. That bastard. Prior to one of the most famous English authors ever to ruin your high school English classes, there was virtually no connection between romance and St. Valentine. One of his poems came out, basically declaring that birds chose their mates on St. Valentine's Day. The earliest surviving valentine is from the Duke of Orleans to his wife in 1415 while he was being "detained" in the Tower of London.
It came into vogue to exchange gifts and handmade valentines to lovers from then on, and in 1847, Esther Howland started the Hallmark ball rolling with her manufactured valentines for sale.
But it's such a sweet, romantic tradition, right?
Besides, considering the money you shelled out for roses and reservations at the Olive Garden, you've gotta get laid, right?
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
SY0-201
posted 6/01/09 @ 1:55 AM EST
I am so in a battle. I was doing so good til we got hit and then my neck and the numbness and I just slacked. I really, really need to get back on track. (Continued…)
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